walking through walls
Monday, December 16, 2002
now it does.. yeah!!!
yes yes, old picture... much more hair, and definately not as clean lookin... ¶ 12/16/2002 10:19:00 PM 0 comments
yes yes, old picture... much more hair, and definately not as clean lookin... ¶ 12/16/2002 10:19:00 PM 0 comments
![](http://www.missouri.edu/~afg42e/www/alex_guevara.jpg")
Thursday, December 12, 2002
ahhh... home is almost there..
just... a...few...more...tests...
its strange, I am one semester away from graduation... more about this some other time
what is weirding me out though, are my friends who are leaving these hallowed halls of education next week. I wonder how they feel about the future and what their plans are... if i'm stressed out now, man, I wonder what it will be like next sem..
anyways.. the holidays..
christmas lights, baking smells, cold mornings , even though I can be quite the cynical bastard, I enjoy the holidays.
forget all my complaints about the commodification of culture, the selling of joy etc... I am truly happy this time of year.
I think it comes from my family, being together, presents, food, quite hours..
its gonna be a new experience this year though. for the first time in 5 years we will have somewhat of a nuclear family.
i mean, its great.. food in the house, clean house, voices fill the air...
I am even happier for my father, because I now know he is no longer lonely..
I still think about my mom of course, and how it would be different if she were still here.. unfortunately, I'd have to admit, if she was around.. I'd probably be a selfish bastard, complaining about another holiday with the family.. mom dying made me grow up and mature from the young bastard I was.... Its really sad sometimes.. It took a loss to make me wake up..
anyways.. the biggest thing that I miss about my mom was watching this one beta tape with her during christmas when I was younger...
lets see.. the betamax tape had a couple of episodes of "puff the magic dragon", "charlie brown goes to camp" and some smurfs episodes..
all those images make me think of the happy and privileged childhood I had(have)..
to get my mom back for a day, just to watch that beta tape...would be better than all the christmas presents in the world...
so, without sounding preachy... enjoy the holidays, be kind to your family, don't be a bastard ;) ¶ 12/12/2002 08:48:00 PM 0 comments
just... a...few...more...tests...
its strange, I am one semester away from graduation... more about this some other time
what is weirding me out though, are my friends who are leaving these hallowed halls of education next week. I wonder how they feel about the future and what their plans are... if i'm stressed out now, man, I wonder what it will be like next sem..
anyways.. the holidays..
christmas lights, baking smells, cold mornings , even though I can be quite the cynical bastard, I enjoy the holidays.
forget all my complaints about the commodification of culture, the selling of joy etc... I am truly happy this time of year.
I think it comes from my family, being together, presents, food, quite hours..
its gonna be a new experience this year though. for the first time in 5 years we will have somewhat of a nuclear family.
i mean, its great.. food in the house, clean house, voices fill the air...
I am even happier for my father, because I now know he is no longer lonely..
I still think about my mom of course, and how it would be different if she were still here.. unfortunately, I'd have to admit, if she was around.. I'd probably be a selfish bastard, complaining about another holiday with the family.. mom dying made me grow up and mature from the young bastard I was.... Its really sad sometimes.. It took a loss to make me wake up..
anyways.. the biggest thing that I miss about my mom was watching this one beta tape with her during christmas when I was younger...
lets see.. the betamax tape had a couple of episodes of "puff the magic dragon", "charlie brown goes to camp" and some smurfs episodes..
all those images make me think of the happy and privileged childhood I had(have)..
to get my mom back for a day, just to watch that beta tape...would be better than all the christmas presents in the world...
so, without sounding preachy... enjoy the holidays, be kind to your family, don't be a bastard ;) ¶ 12/12/2002 08:48:00 PM 0 comments
Monday, December 09, 2002
I really need a break. Thanksgiving was way too short for this guy. I remember when I was in middle/high school. It would be sunday evening, and I would get the most horrible sense of dread. I just did not want to go back to school. When I got to college, it went away; I enjoy(ed) college and all stuff involved.
now, im one more semester away from graduating, and I am extremely sick of school. These last two Sundays I got that old feeling of dread.
after all the classes, lectures, papers, tests.. i'm ready for a break..
i just want to relax
feel human
read
drink
eat
ahhhh..isn't that the life?
Over thanksgiving break, I went against my better judgement and went clubbing with friends. I really can't stand dance clubs. Lots of beautiful women and overly aggressive guys, just annoys me. I don't like the music and I don't like the people in general. It just annoys me , even though I've accepted it that the girls I see in these clubs DO NOT like people like myself. whether i'm not abercrombie enough, tall enough, cute enough, or white enough... I just can' t win.
I like to think, hey I don't like these girls either , knowing I'd most likely meet a girl of my tastes somewhere else.. but, jesus, can't I just for once get the girl that I never could get?
yes... i'm whining...but fuck it... its not that I necessarily like these girls of even respect them.. I guess its some sort of complex I have.. called vanity/ego/something else
and like I always said.. " I want to meet that popular girl, date her, make her fall madly in love with me, then dump her. hahaha..
ok ok.. i'll go back to my feeble life, organizing records,hanging out with my fellow hopeless single friends, playing air guitar, and looking for the girls that make me really swoon..
feeble? yes... but it sure is my life, and I like it.. ¶ 12/09/2002 11:55:00 PM 0 comments
now, im one more semester away from graduating, and I am extremely sick of school. These last two Sundays I got that old feeling of dread.
after all the classes, lectures, papers, tests.. i'm ready for a break..
i just want to relax
feel human
read
drink
eat
ahhhh..isn't that the life?
Over thanksgiving break, I went against my better judgement and went clubbing with friends. I really can't stand dance clubs. Lots of beautiful women and overly aggressive guys, just annoys me. I don't like the music and I don't like the people in general. It just annoys me , even though I've accepted it that the girls I see in these clubs DO NOT like people like myself. whether i'm not abercrombie enough, tall enough, cute enough, or white enough... I just can' t win.
I like to think, hey I don't like these girls either , knowing I'd most likely meet a girl of my tastes somewhere else.. but, jesus, can't I just for once get the girl that I never could get?
yes... i'm whining...but fuck it... its not that I necessarily like these girls of even respect them.. I guess its some sort of complex I have.. called vanity/ego/something else
and like I always said.. " I want to meet that popular girl, date her, make her fall madly in love with me, then dump her. hahaha..
ok ok.. i'll go back to my feeble life, organizing records,hanging out with my fellow hopeless single friends, playing air guitar, and looking for the girls that make me really swoon..
feeble? yes... but it sure is my life, and I like it.. ¶ 12/09/2002 11:55:00 PM 0 comments
