I really need a break. Thanksgiving was way too short for this guy. I remember when I was in middle/high school. It would be sunday evening, and I would get the most horrible sense of dread. I just did not want to go back to school. When I got to college, it went away; I enjoy(ed) college and all stuff involved.
now, im one more semester away from graduating, and I am extremely sick of school. These last two Sundays I got that old feeling of dread.

after all the classes, lectures, papers, tests.. i'm ready for a break..
i just want to relax
feel human
read
drink
eat
ahhhh..isn't that the life?

Over thanksgiving break, I went against my better judgement and went clubbing with friends. I really can't stand dance clubs. Lots of beautiful women and overly aggressive guys, just annoys me. I don't like the music and I don't like the people in general. It just annoys me , even though I've accepted it that the girls I see in these clubs DO NOT like people like myself. whether i'm not abercrombie enough, tall enough, cute enough, or white enough... I just can' t win.
I like to think, hey I don't like these girls either , knowing I'd most likely meet a girl of my tastes somewhere else.. but, jesus, can't I just for once get the girl that I never could get?
yes... i'm whining...but fuck it... its not that I necessarily like these girls of even respect them.. I guess its some sort of complex I have.. called vanity/ego/something else

and like I always said.. " I want to meet that popular girl, date her, make her fall madly in love with me, then dump her. hahaha..

ok ok.. i'll go back to my feeble life, organizing records,hanging out with my fellow hopeless single friends, playing air guitar, and looking for the girls that make me really swoon..

feeble? yes... but it sure is my life, and I like it..   ¶ 12/09/2002 11:55:00 PM