Wednesday, April 02, 2003
Its been a while dear friends, its been a while
I am feeling what I am labeling as "sensory overload"..
be it good times (family, friends, sushi)
anticpation (teach for america)
stress (AAA, MAASU)
disappointment (AAA)
joy (cut chemist and nu mark live at the community arts center 1994 full session CD)
sadness (missing mom, leaving school and friends)
being happy (this girl I met , tasty tap water)
or perplexion (senior thesis')
It is definately taking its toll on me. I can describe it like a line graph... eventually there will be a peak, where all items converge at the same exact time.. be them positive or negative..
this is one of those times, things listed above, and then some are all coming at me and affecting me now..
that combined with lots of coffee, low sleep, and lots of sun.. has provided me with a very weird feeling.
I do not know whether or not I am handling this well, or if this is the best time to have this happen to me..
all I know that there is some sort of light at the end of the tunnel.. my stint with MAASU ends this saturday night! and my AAA commitment ends shortly afterwards..
of course..there is much work to be done between them
I have also met a woman that I absolutely adore... the problem is that we have the relationship that I want.. (acknowledgement of busy lives, not waiting on the phone for eachother, having our own schedules etc..) even with all these things, i can't help but feel that I would like to spend more time with her.. amidst all this craziness.. meeting her has given me some sort of balance.. a weather service if you will , telling me that outside its all right, its okay to go out and play..
another factor, I'm leaving soon, and I don't know how I am going to handle that..
this has happened to me before, I met a great girl after High school graduation.. way too late.. we had our summer ,,and we went our respective ways..
maybe this is good for me, I can experience a sort of happiness that comes from mutual affection, albeit most likely short stint and go happily on my way, knowing that for this small fraction of my life, I was able to experience this person...
anyways... I'm not the poetic type and I am probably starting to lose it..
even with all this humdrum/exciting/sad/happy times, I still see a small light at the end of this current tunnel. I know that I will be immediately swept into another one, but I dont want to view these tunnels as bad, hell, thats life for you..
I may be a tunnel dweller, and I may be aspiring a pipe dream, but it can' t hurt trying.. I'll find me niche one of these days..I hope you find yours
¶ 4/02/2003 07:03:00 PM
I am feeling what I am labeling as "sensory overload"..
be it good times (family, friends, sushi)
anticpation (teach for america)
stress (AAA, MAASU)
disappointment (AAA)
joy (cut chemist and nu mark live at the community arts center 1994 full session CD)
sadness (missing mom, leaving school and friends)
being happy (this girl I met , tasty tap water)
or perplexion (senior thesis')
It is definately taking its toll on me. I can describe it like a line graph... eventually there will be a peak, where all items converge at the same exact time.. be them positive or negative..
this is one of those times, things listed above, and then some are all coming at me and affecting me now..
that combined with lots of coffee, low sleep, and lots of sun.. has provided me with a very weird feeling.
I do not know whether or not I am handling this well, or if this is the best time to have this happen to me..
all I know that there is some sort of light at the end of the tunnel.. my stint with MAASU ends this saturday night! and my AAA commitment ends shortly afterwards..
of course..there is much work to be done between them
I have also met a woman that I absolutely adore... the problem is that we have the relationship that I want.. (acknowledgement of busy lives, not waiting on the phone for eachother, having our own schedules etc..) even with all these things, i can't help but feel that I would like to spend more time with her.. amidst all this craziness.. meeting her has given me some sort of balance.. a weather service if you will , telling me that outside its all right, its okay to go out and play..
another factor, I'm leaving soon, and I don't know how I am going to handle that..
this has happened to me before, I met a great girl after High school graduation.. way too late.. we had our summer ,,and we went our respective ways..
maybe this is good for me, I can experience a sort of happiness that comes from mutual affection, albeit most likely short stint and go happily on my way, knowing that for this small fraction of my life, I was able to experience this person...
anyways... I'm not the poetic type and I am probably starting to lose it..
even with all this humdrum/exciting/sad/happy times, I still see a small light at the end of this current tunnel. I know that I will be immediately swept into another one, but I dont want to view these tunnels as bad, hell, thats life for you..
I may be a tunnel dweller, and I may be aspiring a pipe dream, but it can' t hurt trying.. I'll find me niche one of these days..I hope you find yours
¶ 4/02/2003 07:03:00 PM
