sitting here in the library "studying"
im a bit pissed off, I had 2 midterms and I was so close to getting A's. I got an 87 in race and ethnic relations and an 89 in History 391.

I have another midterm next thursday in sociolgy of aging that I should be studying for..but I can't bring myself to do it.
im going to an amish community on friday to chat with some old folks... should be interesting.

i need to call people back more often, I'm becoming a terrible friend.  ¶ 10/23/2002 04:01:00 PM 0 comments

  my god was chicago interesting.

I arrive around 9 am, ready to fill the early part with sightseeing and maybe spending some money. I take the train to the Belmont area, a really trendy/punkrock/hippy/artist commune place ; where big business and indie business reside in some sort of strained relationship. I can grab a donut at Dunkin Donuts then go peruse some soul 45's at the independent music store down the street.
You can see equal mixture of folks wearing abercr/expres/gap/diesel/bannana and folks wearing the same leather pants they had been wearing for months with their tattered and torn melvins t shirt on. maybe a few indie rock kids with too tight sweaters with 1/2 inch buttons covering every possible space of their bags . It was purely a sociological moment for me.
Anyways, I walk into this DJ equipment store and buy a set of cheap slipmats I've been meaning to purchase. My precious vinyl shouldn't take the abuse of a stiff rubber slipmat, these felt ones will do perfectly.

I then go to the Belmont Army Navy Surplus, 3 floors of consumer goodness, you will be able to find all the neat overpriced hip indie rock clothes and shoes you could ever want. whats cool is the 3 rd floor has army surplus and some random odds and ends. I added a black and red KISS belt buckle to my collection ( i'll take donations of belt buckles, its my new hobby) and bought a leather wristband for kicks. maybe It'll attract the attention of a cute girl one of these days..hahah

I then go to Evanston, to meet my colleagues for a few meetings of the Asian American kind. these people are great.. Its great to work with such hard working and dedicated people, we will definately make a few strides this year.

after that is over, I discover that Apples in Stereo and Clinic are playing at the metro! and guess who is opening up for those 2 bands, The Standard! (after the standard played in columbia a few weeks ago, Jennifer let them stay at her place, since they were too poor to afford a hotel. anyways we all bond as we listen to the thriller album)
I get in line and realize the show is sold out, i was pretty pissed because all 3 bands are great and I was pretty cold due to a lack of a jacket at 10 at night. just my luck that the standard's van pulls up to unload. I go up to them, talk for a bit and they get me on the guestlist! how cool is that? well, I think its pretty cool.
anyway, 4 hours and quite a few beers later, the show is over. Its about 3 am and I realize I didn't have a place to stay (mixup in my part) so I took the train back to downtown chi town and wandered around till I found a dunkin donuts (i guess they are open 24 hours) I eat my lemon donut and some coffee. i then go to the train station, its about 4am by now, and I realize that the trains are about to start up again. So i wait for a train to take me to the airport at 4:30 am. i get there, change my flight to an 8am and sleep .. I get on my plane and sleep.
I get home to KC and sleep, I wake up and drive to Columbia, and sleep...
wow...what a weekend.. chicago is fun, even better if you stay up 24 + hours...

Ok, onto this week.
I had 2 midterms so far, one I just got out of.. and I think I did quite well. I guess I'll find out next class time if I did well.
One more class to go tonight, then I do some good ol diversity training, then I get to see Koufax, the Burning Brides, and The Anniversary tonight! sweet... nothing like ending a stressful week with some music that truly makes me happy..

well, I hear of a few parties this weekend. anyone game to go? let me know.
wow that rhymed..
see you all later.  ¶ 10/17/2002 01:11:00 PM 0 comments

  my god, this is my 4th week of getting a very minimal amount of sleep.
the ironic thing is, that we are studying sleep and its effects in psychology. as I'm learning about the effects of sleep deprivation, I nod off and then quickly take a sip of diet coke, hoping that it will wake me up.

I really need a break, to just sleep. that would be nice..

i'm going to chicago on saturday! if only if were for fun, not business..

well, I think i may have to give up on this blog thing here... I rarely update it, and I think i'm probably the only person who sees it...
we'll see...  ¶ 10/10/2002 04:48:00 PM 0 comments

  why go out to new places when everyone is wearing the same clothes, have the same haircuts, drinking the same drinks, having the same conversations?

it sickens me to see these most likely very good people, yet somewhat off, boring, and trendy waste their time at these places. if they just wanted to see a copy of themselves, why don't they just look in the mirror?

i mean, I guess coming from my perspective, it could be biased,I am observing a culture that I am neither invited nor willing to participate in, and maybe I am just immature but , seriously, I don't get why some of these people talk about some of the most seemingly trivial things..

girl : yeah, like, uh,I got sooo drunk last night, and this one guy triend to kiss me, yuck (drink)
guy: yeah.... , (sips beer) you wanna come over sometime?
girl : what house are you in?
guy : (insert random fraternity) (drink)
girl : um, I don't really like you guys... you're cool though..., but anyways.. I need to use the restroom
guy: (finishes beer) whatever..

i'm not gonna claim my self some sort of armchair philosopher (actually, i tend to dislike those types), but man.. I try to talk about something else, maybe a bit more interesting, although... I guess trying to get laid is a noble activity.. maybe I should talk to more sorority girls and make up a fraternity...
in any case... i guess I need to shut up and let people be.. but dammit, i just can't stand those people...I try to be openminded.. its hard you know?

but, maybe i'm just an asshole and I should mind my own business, letting other people waste oxygen talking about things that don't mean a thing to me.

its a free country...  ¶ 10/04/2002 12:17:00 AM 0 comments

  uh oh--- my self imposed blinders are starting to fail me. as hard as i've tried, as much as I didn't want it to happen, girls have been creeping up in my mind lately.

jeez.. girls are just so, distracting, so bad for me right now, yet, sometimes its all I want. I figure I fill my days with countless activities to prevent that "void" I seem to get when not pre-occupied with a girl. And I must admit, its been great. I get stuff done, I have time to myself, and overall I'm pretty efficient....

Yet, sometimes I'd throw that away, just to have one of those lazy sunday mornings, laying in bed with her, not doing anything, oblivious of the responsibilites that lay ahead.

I try to tell myself, ' alex, you are graduating, don't get caught up in something you may not want to end'. i figure that a girl will blind me to what I really need to focus on, my future, my "career" what not. but like people say ,what good is a sunny day if you're not outside to enjoy it? will completing my "list" below be enjoyable if I don't have someone to share it with? of course, there are my friends, family etc.. but, one cannot exist on friends and family alone. you know that john lennon quote... (all you need is...). i mean, a first place trophy is no fun unless someone can hold it with you..

now, there isn't a specific girl per se.... okay, there maybe is, maybe two on my mind. One I kind of know, and the other girl I barely know. I've been so use to rejection of my romantic advances, that I can't tell if a girl is actually interested, and I'm still too much of a pussy to find out.

where does this lead alex? well, right now a whole lot of nothing, but, I need to promise myself to do something about it.
maybe it will end up with something meaningful, maybe it may change my plans, or maybe nothing will happen but I'll be able to have a smile on my face, knowing that I at least tried...  ¶ 10/01/2002 04:13:00 PM 0 comments