walking through walls

2007-03-06T09:27:00.000-08:00

The time has come for this to end.

Folks, this website will go into an official retirement.
Its been a crazy few years, 6 years I believe.

I'll keep the content up, as my older posts can be quite amusing.

I want to re-focus my writing and commentary, and I think a re-birth is appropriate.

my new website is http://apogees-and-nadirs.blogspot.com

props to you, come follow me down this new path, if only for a moment.

alextheasiankid

2001-2007

2006-11-20T06:40:00.000-08:00

this just makes me laugh

in my living room , next to the stereo, I have two albums next to eachother.
On the left is Stevie Wonder's ?Talking Book". On the left is the Clash "combat rock" I think lyrically they actually complement eachother, both albums making political statements.

but, what really makes me laugh is seeing them next to eachother like so:

i can imagine stevie and the clash sitting in the same field, stevie on the bank, and the clash of course on the train tracks. and stevie wonder just hit joe strummer in the eye with a rock.

ok, i'll get off this now. i think i'm going craaazzyyy!

2006-11-11T23:15:00.000-08:00

there are many cool things about echo park.

of the many exciting and strange things that fascinate me daily, the most mundane of things excite me the most.

for example. Having to walk/jog/run/limp/wheeze at least twice a day around echo park lake, I notice and can recognize many of the ducks and geese that make it a home. I especially like the huge gang of geese, and the clan of mallard ducks. I really love this black goose. It's eyes have this cool white outline that also extends in a line around the head. it looks like it is wearing goggles. These folks always seem to be cruising about, doing what they do.

today was really cool though. I guess alot of the pacific northwestern (and other northern areas prob canadian and alaskan) duckies and birdies are apparently making their way down south to mexico I guess. There were so many more birds of many varieties today. I kind of wish I knew more about ornithology.

fishing is very popular at echo park lake, its of the catch and release kind, I don't know if i'd eat anything that lived in the water anyway. Usually, I see the typical fishing pole, or a old fashioned huck finn stick and string. But today, I saw a hybrid of both. These cute old korean men had these fishing poles that looked like fiberglass. One end extended over the water obviously and had one end of the fishing line attached. The otherend was two pronged stacked vertically with one sticking into the ground and the other one acting like a sort of counterbalance. This thing was huge, and the old men would deftly swing the weighted line in this shallow arc into the water. very cool.

in the morning, I always see the same dogs and walkers. on saturday and sunday morning, I get up much later and see a different crowd. i actually get into conversations on these days. the week days at 6am are strictly for exercise for the colonel and I.

had practice again today. yesterday and today was the first time i've played out in at least a month. It felt rusty, but it was fun. we were joined by a new guitarist. i actually got to play back up bass, not lead bass. I like both. I love being the main riff maker, but its nice to back up and support a guitar player once in a while. I am much less self conscious when i'm doing that.

i played with the doggie alot today, went around silverlake with rach, took him for a walk around the park, wresteled, shoved eachother around etc..

hector my neighbor came over and I helped him with his math homework for a little bit.

at the last minute, sherie told me of this awesome thing called cut and paste that was up the street from my house (my rant on being uninformed culturally in LA is coming some other day). Basically it is a live graphic design competition. The competitors had 15 minutes to create from scratch an image based around a theme. crazy. it was like a sporting event, but with a row of macs and tablet monitors instead of jocks and a few dj's instead of cheerleaders. example themes were time travel and alternative energy.

lots of hip folks, lots of tattoos and neat hats. good music. eric nakamura of giant robot fame and buff monster were in the judging panel. apparently there were free drinks, but we got there too late to cop from widmers. its all good.

it was too warm and crowded in there, I felt a bit claustrophobic (my rant on my ever developing and growing claustrophobia will also come another day).

now, i'm chilling on the couch, as colonel mustard makes the best of a long pillow. i could sleep in any position right about now.

2006-11-05T23:37:00.000-08:00

i need a new drug, one that won't make me sick...

huey lewis had it right.

for some people, its appearance, consumerism, religion...

what do I need to find to help me basically feel, and to quote office space "like i've been fishing all day"?.

what is the fight for really? do I give into my jaded sense of reality? am i supposed to live with the contradictions and hypocrisy that lies in my very own body?

it is sad when my faith in humanity is slightly restored because I was given a bit of a break at a grocery store (ask me privately) based on a little white lie.

how fucked up is that? because I basically lied my ass off, I was lucky enough for this very nice man to believe me and cut me some slack.. of course, i could say that he had no obligation to help me, and I didn't ask for it. nevertheless, that guy was a good guy.

my weekend was fun. it was also very tiring. my two very close friends from KC came into town. memories to be shared later.

i need sleep

2006-10-16T17:15:00.000-07:00

Rachel and I would like to introduce you to our new family member:

Colonel Mustard!

after finding out that a dog we fell in love with was already adopted on saturday, we were pretty upset. Of course we're happy he found a good home, but we really wanted him.

Just our luck that on sunday was a huge Pet adoption fair at the La Brea tar pits.

This is where we found this guy. He was so quiet and calm, and very shy. Apparently he had just been picked up by animal services 5 days ago. I could imagine how traumatized he was. After filling out the paperwork, he was reluctant to move from his spot under the table on the grass where he lied. It took an employee to help him into the car.

THe first few minutes were tense for him, but he soon warmed up, rachel was sitting in the back comforting him.

When we went home, we led him into our living room. At first, he looked scared and timid. Then all of a sudden he looked around. It looked like he realized that our home was his home now, and he got so happy, licking us and exploring our apartment.

that afternoon he mostly slept on his new bed. it was as if he had not gotten decent sleep in ages.
leaving him this morning was tough, and when rachel came to visit him at lunch he was scared, in the corner.

i can't imagine what cruelty he experienced, but we both promise to love this dog so much. colonel mustard deserves it!

2006-10-02T13:20:00.000-07:00

taken from myspace blog, because i'm too lazy to write anything else right now.

enjoy

Walking home from a local restaurant, Rachel and I stop in front of the store window of a local panaderia. as we admired the huge cakes and donuts, from the corner of my eye, three young latino kids said to us as they walked past "gentrification".

hmm. its so interesting. the way we were standing, rachel (who happens to be of german/swiss descent), was first in the line of sight of the boys. I wonder if anything would have been said if it was my face they saw first. of course, in my fashionably dark banana republic(an) jeans and oh-so-cool western shirt and green nikes, I may have not fared any better.

at first, I was kind of amused. here I am, I am part of the complex issue of gentrification. I halfway though of saying "thank you", instead of getting all pissed off. instead, it just made me think.

living in echo park, and teaching in the neighboring community is something I never really thought I would do. After my three years in watts, I always enjoyed the separation of my home and work. now, I can see my students in the park across the street from my house on weekends. I acknowledge that my neighbors know I didn't come from here. the know I am a teacher, and it somehow brings me more respect that say other twenty-something professionals in the area. is it because I am teaching their kids? or that my girlfriend works in the hospital just a bit down the street?
in what context am I seen as a good member of this community, and when am I seen as another foreign invader, out to disrupt the lives of long-time residents?

hearing the word gentrification, I was pleased that the kids even knew the word. two weeks ago I introduced the concept to my advisory class. most of the kids didn't know the term, but they knew what gentrification looks like. i chuckled when i told rachel "they probably learned that word from their white liberal high-school teacher!"

i realize that just as i have been subjected to racial slurs, I had to realize that these people know nothing about me. I cannot let myself get angry or defensive, because I am who I am.
We walked away, silently except for the occasional sigh and a furtive glance around. Earlier today, I decided to smile and say hello to every person on my way home. We pass by a couple, sitting on their front lawn. We make eye contact, for a brief moment it was silent, their conversation stopped as eyes were on us. I smile and say hello, they smile back and say hello. we go into our apartment, , and sit down.

for now, this place is home. I know I am part of the gentrification machine, and I feel slightly uncomfortable. at the same time, I am proud of who I am and what I do. I will embrace this community, it has somewhat embraced me. i know they have no obligation to embrace me. many of these so called "immigrants", can lay claim to this land, way before pizzaro and columbus. I thank those kids for constantly reminding me what a different time I'm living in, and that I need to be progressively working to make good.

in other news, rachel and I saw "jesus camp" its amazing. about evangelical kids camps. the funny thing is , a majority of it was filmed in missouri. lee's summit to be specific. really brought me back to missour for a while.

the bent is obviously left, but I does so without insulting the kids who go to the camp. it tries to show both perspectives. see it if you get a chance.

2006-09-10T23:52:00.000-07:00

I saw Ron Jeremy at the Willie Nelson concert tonight.

wow, just realized that sentence is quite funny.
Ron Jermey= huge willie

willie nelson = huge country star!

more on this later.

2006-09-04T08:45:00.000-07:00

gimme gimme gimme, gimme some more!

i have a headache. I saw helf nelson with some friends. its a pretty good movie, but I was sitting way too close for the shaky hand held camera style.

I won't go into too much detail about the movie, IMDB it, its got ryan gosling and a really good supporting cast.

school starts on tuesday, and i'm starting to get nervous. let's hope it all goes well.

2006-08-21T21:24:00.000-07:00

you are not as progressive as you think.

where's the hipster rebellion??

no fashionable revolution?

shut the fuck up.

2006-07-27T10:50:00.000-07:00

well what do you know, it got a bit cooler. I swear that the wind is purposefully not blowing in my room at night. having all my fans in the new apartment doesn't make things any better.

I only have the kitchen left to paint and lots of junk to move in. I'm trying to get things in earlier, as to make sunday as stress-free as possible.

friday and saturday I plan to move as much stuff up there as possible, leaving sunday for rachel's stuff.

then its off to training for a week. its always nice to get out of LA for a bit.

tonight Lyrics born is playing for free at the santa monica pier, then we're going to little temple for the rootdown.

its been a while since i've had such a hip-hop-centric night. I need to do it more often.

2006-07-24T18:54:00.000-07:00

this heat wave is just nasty. It totally reminds me of missouri summers. so, I really can't complain, this shit is rare in southern cali

the back of my knees are sweaty, the winds that blow are just as hot as the heat inside of the house.

the fans blow warm air, as I lay here on the couch, my chin feels like it would stick to my chest.

the paint is drying slowly, and now I'm going to start painting early AM.

i've gone to see two movies in two days to beat the heat, gone to IKEA, gone to the mall, i think i'm going to the library tomorrow.

drink water, eat veggies. thats my plan

2006-07-19T12:14:00.000-07:00

Bllaaaa!

I just lost the blog I posted.. Here is my second attempt.

I've been painting the new apartment for the last couple of days. thanks to pro rating, i'm still staying in the LBC while paintingthe new place in Echo Park-ay (see Mi vida loca)

its a nice little 2 bed room shotgun-esque pad in a four plex in echo park.

deep rich yellow in the living room and main hallway. grey/blue in the bedroom, light yellow in the kitchen, 50's pink in the bathroom.

what color should we do in the office?

I suck at painting, and when i'm doing it all by myself, i suck even more (fumes too).

hopefully when it is all done, i'll post pictures for you all to see. hopefully a housewarming party will be in effect sometime mid-august.

2006-06-21T21:48:00.000-07:00

I realize that this current week is almost over, but I want to talk about this last weekend.

apartment hunting is hard. but, I think we have found a cool place in echo park. a little shady, but lots of charm, and walking distance to silverlake eats and shops.

but the highlight of my trip was finding Jollibee. What is jollibee you ask? its basically the filipino mcdonalds.
seeing the sign almost brought a tear to me eye.

all the posters and pictures showcase filipino faces, actors and such. even the kids meal prizes are filipino, endorsed by the filipino education association. its like they took a jollibee from the philippines and plopped it right into downtown LA. Rachel was one of the 3 white people I saw in the restaurant.

its not just a hamburger, its a Yumburger. not fried chicken, but chickenjoy. its your basic hamburger joint, but with a filipino twist. you want spaghetti and chicken? you got it? a mango/apple pie? of course.

the treat of the year though is Halo Halo. like other south asian desserts, it incorporates ice, ice cream, sweet beans and bread fruits. its too rich and sweet for me, but rachel enjoyed it.

of course, the jollibee mascot is the best. and i had to get a picture.

I wasn't even hungry, and settled on a diet coke.

later that evening we had some vegan chinese food in monterey park.

a good weekend.

my friends eddy and james come into town for a while, it'll be good to see my homies.

oh yeah. school is almost over! two more days!

due to the wonder of child labor, my room is spotless. all is left is to finish grades and turn my keys in. three years of markham under my belt, time to move on.

2006-06-16T08:00:00.000-07:00

like..wow

its only 8am...not heading to school, but to the beach. bbq with the kiddos.

covered in ash and remnants of long-ago charred meat.

"what do we do with his body?..yet, i'm so hungry....what do we do with his body?"

watch wondershowzen..it'll fuck you up.

2006-06-13T10:02:00.000-07:00

SAVE THE SOUTH CENTRAL FARM!!!!

I sit here in my classroom, feeling quite helpless.

The Sheriff's dept is evicting the tenants of the south central farm.
Having spent the night at this beautiful place, a place where 350 families are growing healthy food for themselves in the middle of an industrial zone, I am extremely saddened by the visuals of bulldozers plowing over the maize, herbs, and rare south american indigenous plants.

there is much more shit going on that i'm not well-informed about. but certain community leaders are not making the situation any better.

it makes me feel like crying that people, who are trying to help themselves and their community, are being taken away from their means of survival.

for another factory?

for $15 million?

ralph horowitz, shame on you.

shame on me for not doing more.

for much more information on what we can do to support the farm go to:

www.southcentralfarmers.com

support healthy families, support a healthy community, and support healthy food at the south central farm.

2006-06-01T13:52:00.000-07:00

S is for Squanto

found on a website. they still teach kids how the friendly pilgrams and native americans got along

i mean, look how lucky dem injuns are.. they got their own land, free from 'merican rules.

don't shoot!

2006-05-31T21:27:00.000-07:00

blech..

its getting to be that time of the year when its getting uncomfortably warm in the house.

tossin and turning in bed.

even after showering I still feel a bit sticky.

4 weeks to go, a bit more work to do.

looking for some employment this summer.

any leads?

2006-05-23T23:09:00.000-07:00

hot keywords..
will these words bump me up in google?

lindsey lohan

WMD

nike

self flagellation

da vinci

throbbing gristle

the days are getting longer. I really need to clean my car and my room

play tennis, go on a hike, nap outdoors.

tent city

hurricane

gaza strip

roller derby

I need to do more research into the California Gubenatorial race. two dems who seem identical, and arnold. its like being asked "would you rather drink a barrel of monkey snot, orslide down a razor blade naked into a pool of hydrogen peroxide?" neither choice seems very appealing

california

extreme

2006-05-19T09:28:00.000-07:00

"..rhymes for honeys and beats for boys..."
david garza

It was thursday night and of course I was at Largo. This time it was to see David Garza (again).

just guitar/piano, and a drummer.

it was simple. it was great.

it was an oddly small turnout, but for us 20 or so people, it was request night.
black and tan, got my own style, discoball world, some great songs en espanol

while I enjoy every permutation of a david garza (double drummers,pedal steels, dub station,) there is something great about the stripped down show last night.

every perfect note, every mistake was upfront.

i think the measure of a good song is its ability to sound good in its most simple form.

do I move?

is it worth the increase in rent to avoid long commutes and wasted time on the road?

we'll see.

2006-05-17T13:21:00.000-07:00

how does one convey a sense of urgency to a group of students?

i have tried many tricks in the book, including the one you have for me.

but, please, keep them coming.

i'm willing to try anything.

2006-05-16T07:59:00.000-07:00

The whirlwind trip to New York was great. Exhausting. Cramming every minute with "touristy" activities was fun and a bit overwhelming.

harlem,battery park, spamalot, chinatown, lestat, east village, soho,subways, seeing Kamili, just missing Minna, hotdogs, streetfood, "authentic" pizza, lots of coffee, the westin, times square..

all in about 3 days.

I'm already planning a trip back out there, but in a much more relaxed environment. I want to check out brooklyn and other places, do less touristy things, see things that only exist in new york.

seeing my family and friends at the same time was the best part. i can't believe I probably won't see erin and matt until thanksgiving.

pictures are forthcoming, as well as more commentary when the jetlag and caffeine withdrawal goes away.

back to work.

2006-05-08T06:15:00.000-07:00

If dreams were like bombs i'd be hezbollah, and no im not afraid of that metaphor
the architects

call it clarity or something like that, but I feel different, even better.

maybe its coming down from a busy weekend with lots of food and alcohol.

maybe it is the fact that I got a new job for next school year (more on that later)

I don't know.

but laying in bed last night, reading "the kite runner" I figured that I had best get a grip on my shit, and start doing what I need to get doing.

no false fronts, no pretense, just doing what I need to do.

and thats what gonna happen.

it has to.

2006-05-03T07:53:00.000-07:00

i want my life to have a late 80's early 90's soundtrack.
jangly guitars and lost vocals

I want my car to be an cutlass supreme
all metal and tires

i want my water to be from a new mexico stream
purified with iodine

i want my hands to smell slightly of nicotine
from the first cigarette ever

i want my hair to be stiff and crusty
with 99cent dep gel

i want my jeans to be baggy and pleated
with a silver tab

2006-04-30T00:23:00.000-07:00

well, due to stupidity at my school, I got jacked.

someone took my digital camera because the locksmith left my door unguarded.

to top it all off, the perp poured a whole bottle of coke in to my bookbag, rendering all papers and documents into a sticky, wet mess.

i'm just glad that I put my last batch of pictures into my computer before It got stolen.

there is hope I will get some cash back, but i'm still mighty pissed.

add another reason to not come back next year.

in other news. I really want to be creative, or if I can't be "creative", at least create something.
some of my stress and frustration still comes from the fact that I don't really have any creative output.
I guess photography is out of the question for a while.

2006-04-27T09:04:00.000-07:00

to those who are curious
I basically had about 2.5 panic attacks last week or so.
call it exhaustion, worry, "coming down", whatever.

doc gave me happy pills, but, they are hidden, i don't want to take them.

breathing works fine.

i'm feeling much better
my appetite is coming back, and I don't feel dread.

although I feel like my room is creeping up over me.

but, I cleaned it and I feel fine.

for some reason, blogger isn't putting my pictures up.

2006-04-18T19:53:00.000-07:00

Help!

the laundry monster has taken over.
the move back has been tougher than I thought. I'm tired, caffeine/beer withdrawal.

the career fair I went to today was sobering. Of course I shouldn't expect much from those things, but it was just strange sitting in line talking to bored representatives about jobs.

THey told me to bring 20 resumes, I ended up handing out only 5. and i'm going to a non-profit one on friday, and I don't even think i'm gonna use the same resume.

so, i've got 15 or so copies of a resume that prob won't help me anywhere.

maybe i'll make some paper sculpture out of em.

my room is messy, and it was my goal to get it clean. and it was also my goal to get more work done.
neither happened.

crescent rolls are in the oven, i'm gonna cook.

maybe clean later.

at least the laundry monster is half defeated by now.

2006-04-16T18:38:00.000-07:00

HOME

sweet home.

i'm back in L.A. Its slowly sinking in that I have to go to work tomorrow. but, due to a couple of job fairs, I'll have a short week.

the trip was an overall success, with much needed time spent with family and friends. I was so glad that Rachel was able to come with me.

I regret not seeing enough of Jennifer or Jason or Carlos, and I really regret not seeing Christian at all.

as usual, I come back with more shit than I left with. namely, a like-new backpack from Pablo, and some new clothes ,dvd's, and fucking delicious gates bbq sauce. (i'm sorry Arthur Bryants, I couldn't make it out to eat your divine bbq this time)

of all the things I could have taken back with me, I really wish I would have snagged this at the "antique" mall. yes, that is an official Michael Jackson AM radio. Whats even funnier, I owned a full sized, framed print of that same pitcture of Jacko, bathed in canary yellow. It sat in my basement next to the nintendo and weight machine.

I feel a bit more refreshed, physically and mentally. I just have to run with whatever happens in these next few months, and take what comes.

also, I'm gonna try to write on this thing more often. the content may not be that important, but attempting to express myself is.
and, I want to see who posts more pictures, Maggie or myself.

2006-04-16T13:37:00.000-07:00

Day 5 (saturday)

eating
shopping
eating
drinking
collecting hail
sitting through tornado warnings
drinking
sleeping

my doggie, shaq

we went out and got my mom and dad a brand new computer. the old one took way too long to do simple things

the last 3 computers i've set up for people haven't been mine.

i think its time to get myself a new one. the trip is over, going home on sunday.

2006-04-15T07:13:00.000-07:00

Day 4 (friday)

against better judgement, we get up at 6 or so after getting 3 hours of sleep to get breakfast with the fam, and then head on the road with rachel and eric to Columbia, MO home of the University of Missouri, my alma mater.

so, we head east on to the I-70 highway

not much in between, just some slowly declining outlet malls, and lots of fireworks stands.

We get to como, and walk around. I was there predominantly to grab lunch with my mentor pablo, and some new asian american leadership at our school.

my flash was off, so the group photo was blurry.

after a few hours, we walk around campus some more. I took pictures of campus "highlights" that I never really cared for when I went there. and they still don't do much. most of my memories from school were triggered by people, not places.

however, one place that always had a place in my heart was the old heidelberg bar. For 3 years, every wednesday night at the 'berg was my home. boulevard wheat bear and burgers.
the summer after graduation it sadly burned down. fortunately, it was rebuilt last year or so. and this was the first time at the (new) old heidelberg. my childhood friend Ilene met up with us, it is always good to see her.

fun with condiments/silverware

after a long tiring drive back, more mahjongg with Terry and his girl JoHanna.

then to bed.

2006-04-13T21:59:00.000-07:00

oh my, is he really posting for the third day in a row?

yes,yes he is

Day Three in KC (thursday)

we wake up, eat our granola and then take the doggie for a walk. by 11 am it was already 90 degrees.
What we thought would have been a hardcore work day was changed when we were able to get a car.
so, what does one do when they have a car?
i guess we go to the antique mall in parkville, missouri.
Parkville is a small town that borders the kansas city northland, I went to church there, and a majority of my friends lived there. yeah, it is an independent city, but basically a neighboor hood of kansas city.

we pass the mini-golf place, and pass the argentinian restaurant, and head straight to this random-ass antique mall.

rachel found some jewelry

i guess I found abe lincoln and jesus

we both found elvis, dead. commemorated even

call me kooky, but Itry to find all the old school prejudice, stereotypical ethnic figurines.
its just so amazing, racism is a bit more veiled these days.

a couple of my favs
aren't they cute?

don't steal cookies

after leaving bizzaro antique land, we head to my favorite restaurant Malay Cafe.

rachel had vegetarian Java Mee , i had the curry chicken

we take a nap, and then head to the gym.

after that, dinner and mahjongg with my rachel, mum, and dad

I did not win one game.

all in all though, a great day and night

tomorrow we head out to my alma mater, the university of missouri-columbia to do some sightseeing

2006-04-12T22:20:00.000-07:00

Kansas City, Day one part 2,
We ended day one with Jenn, Rachel, Eric, Jason and I at the Honky Tonk Supper Club.

Here is Rex Hobart, of The Misery Boys fame.

I was fucking around with 4 second exposures.

Day Two (Wed)

We were able to get some more sleep, which was really nice considering our late night.

After cooking some pancakes, we headed to the consumerist capital called the Plaza.

there I participated in some consumerism myself, buying some shirts and pants. I then splurged on baby Jared Dorsett and bought some Kiehl's babycare stuff . Rachel even got a nice headband.

While we were there, we visited my homeboy Terry, or KKanji. he's working on his album, so I figured I could take some shots of him.

more fun with longer exposures

this is where I say that we should stop eating out this trip, too much $$, and way too many pounds..

anyway, we then headed over to independence, MO home of Harry Truman to visit my friend Eric and his beautiful baby, Jared.

after watching PCU, we headed back north. did a little juvenille Cruising (you small town folks know what I mean), even had a slice of pie at Perkins.

now we're home, settling down and watching some wonder showzen.

no car tomorrow for most of the day, so Its a work day, and playtime with the doggie

goodnight

2006-04-11T15:15:00.000-07:00

Back to my roots, Kansas City trip Day 1, part one:

I started the day off with a wet slobbery kiss from my doggie Shaq.
A few minutes of the news while I ate my reduced sugar frosted flakes, soon Rachel and I were off to (Maggie can guess) the local 24 hour fitness to get our sweat on.

We head back, quickly shower and dress to join our dad at the culinary (even religious) mecca of Kansas City, the world famous bbq joint Gates BBQ.
Its fucking good, affordable, and downright delicious. $30 dollars of bbq is alot, and my dad, rachel(yes, a vegetarian) and I ate it all.

you see, a trip to Gates starts off with the always friendly cashier yelling out "Hi, may I help you?" you had better know what you want to order, unless you want to make her angry. she'll take the order of the person behind you if you aren't ready.

one of the most popular choices is "burnt ends on bun", its as fun to eat as it is to say.

we get short ribs, a combo & a half sandwich (huge bbq beef and pork slathered in sauce, between three pieces of white bread), beans, potato salad, and fries. we also had copious amounts of gates spicy, sweet, and original sauces for dipping. If I was not as hungry as I was, I might have taken a picture of the sandwich in its entirety.

here's my dad Jim, ordering

oh my, here's rachel eating a rib. don't call the veggie police.

after gallons of sauce, napkins, even some good old heated political debate, we were done.

before we headed back to the 'burbs, we decided to give rachel a little tour of our family history.

the part of KC were gates bbq is and were we first lived, is your typical transitional ethnic neighborhood.

when we lived there, it was an italian neighborhood, complete with red white and green fire hydrants ( when i moved to the burbs with their black and yellow hydrants, I was confused).
the italians left, leaving way for the african american community, then the latinos, and now the vietnamese. while the building stay the same, the people and the languages do change.

I noticed alot of vietnamese and african people in the neighborhood when I drove through.

here's our family's first home, we got robbed 3 times, but I don't think my dad has ever been more proud of a home than this one. when he gets depressed he often visits here, to see where we came from. I need to do that more often.

the porch use to be screened in and the paint was a bright white when I lived there.
but, the door was the same. so was the fence. I use to play in a sand box right under that first window you see, next to a parked manual lawn mower (that also got stolen)

apparently, the dry cleaners up the street from us always had a witty quote, and my mom would make me read it every time we went by. that board basically taught me how to read.
today, the sign read "in the race for quality, there is no finish line".

we drove by the hospital where my parents met, the church where they were married and where i was baptized. I was too caught up in the moment to take a picture.

what a trip, what a first day.
tonight: the honky tonk supper club with rex hobart at the record bar. more things to come, more memories to share..

2006-04-07T01:05:00.000-07:00

I really wish I could write songs.

listening to my friend dave's songs at lunch, watching mr. garza at largo tonight, seeing "pay to play" tomorrow night, makes me really wish I could express myself in song.

I feel like i'll forever be a fan of music.

all it seems to take is some chords and some "diary lyrics" as mr. garza put it. but when you watch a person like jay-z and rick rubin work together, or someone like jon brion do their magic, you realize that they have magic. i don't have magic.

i'm still struggling with some form of creative expression. i haven't touched glue, stencils, stamps, in months. its sitting neatly, waiting to be picked up like a little puppy.

its not that I don't have ideas, i'm just afraid of sucking. i'm afraid of being unable to execute my ideas.

i hope my bass playing intentions stay on the top of my priority list. Thanks to some talented and influential friends, I think I will.

i cue'd up some jeff buckley to go to sleep to, and that stuff takes me back to my senior year in college, sitting in my nissan, on a rainy day.

anyways, I'm not going anywhere with this, and I actually wrote and deleted 3 posts in the last week or so..

i better end it here.

my hibernation is ending.

2006-04-05T10:01:00.000-07:00

I'm really looking forward to going home to KC for spring break. family and friends (with babies!) to see.

I'm excited to take Rachel back to my home town, show her where I went to college etc.
I'm excited for gates and arthur bryant's bbq
i'm exicited for malay cafe
i'm excited for cheap movies
i'm excited for rest and relaxation time

still, I'm scared to go back home. I want to "remember my roots", and I tend to romanticize KC too much, glossing over the shitty parts I don't want to think about. i don't feel totally at home yet in the LBC, and KC is losing its grip. I still feel like i'm in transition.

I need to establish my roots in Long beach still. I definately want to experience LA and Long Beach as an ex-teacher (more broke than before)

there are many trips I plan in my head. but, there will be time for that.

its still nice to go back home.

2006-02-08T08:53:00.000-08:00

Here it goes..after seeing all my friends do it

http://www.kisa.ca/personality/

Your personality type is INFJ.
Introverted (I) 54% Extraverted (E) 46% Intuitive (N) 77% Sensing (S) 23% Feeling (F) 75% Thinking (T) 25% Judging (J) 50% Perceiving (P) 50%

Beneath the quiet exterior, INFJs hold deep convictions about the weightier matters of life. Those who are activists -- INFJs gravitate toward such a role -- are there for the cause, not for personal glory or political power.
INFJs are champions of the oppressed and downtrodden. They often are found in the wake of an emergency, rescuing those who are in acute distress. INFJs may fantasize about getting revenge on those who victimize the defenseless. The concept of 'poetic justice' is appealing to the INFJ.
"There's something rotten in Denmark." Accurately suspicious about others' motives, INFJs are not easily led. These are the people that you can rarely fool any of the time. Though affable and sympathetic to most, INFJs are selective about their friends. Such a friendship is a symbiotic bond that transcends mere words.
INFJs have a knack for fluency in language and facility in communication. In addition, nonverbal sensitivity enables the INFJ to know and be known by others intimately.
Writing, counseling, public service and even politics are areas where INFJs frequently find their niche.

2006-02-07T18:45:00.000-08:00

i'm obsessed with NIKEID. i'll be designing my custom nike air max shoe things soon..
I already have too many shoes with the green/white/grey combination.

i can't see myself wearing predominantly white shoes (i'm a dirty fucker)

black is too dark for me.

blue and yellow? black white red? neon yellow and silver?

I remember growing up when we couldn't really afford to splurge on shoes. my mom once got me bo jackson nike's and I remember my parents arguing, my mom ended up returning the shoes, more than a bit embarrased. the next day my dad took me to the $15 dollar rack at the discount shoe store.

i'm not angry, and I realize the economic reasons. I even see the message about consumerism my dad may have been trying to show me.

but, the only truly resonating effect of that whole experience is my obsession with shoes. I buy em up. I have more pairs than I need. I routinely skip buying clothes or get them at goodwill i order to buy more sneakers.

what am I compensating for? i'm surely not the only one who felt a bit crappier than all the rest in gradeschool, having shoes that were popular years before I wore them. (i think its funny that I and people love vintage style kicks) when most of the boys in my class were wearing eastlands or air jordans ( i still have yet to own jordans, i'm on the prowl)

my shoe obsession started when my mom died. yep. I remember my uncle taking me shopping for clothes for my mom's funeral. I worked at the Buckle at the time, but couldn't really afford to buy the dr martins there. my uncle didn't blink an eye when he purchased a black pair of doc martins dress shoes (discounted of course).
after that I was buying shoes with my saved up cash. I think the fact that my shoe size stopped changing really helped me. college slowed it down a bit, but I remember prowling footlocker, looking for sales.

having a steady job has upped the intensity. I have definately started to think about my own consumerism, and I rarely pay full price anymore. in fact, i rarely buy a shoe thats not heavily discounted. sure, I'll scour eastbay magazine, and go to undefeated or a-team shoes try on a few pairs.. but these days, I keep the shoes on my feet cheap, stylish of course.

but, damn, those limited edition nikes have got me thinkin......

2006-01-17T17:50:00.000-08:00

i don't know why i 'm thinking this but..i'm thinking about....

my own mortality.

what would I want to happen at my funeral?

what would my family say at it?

what would my closest friends say?

to be honest, I think about it all the time..not just mine, but yours as well.

after mom died, I must have come up with hundreds of funeral speeches for my friends and family.

it doesn't really scare me, and I don't believe in omens.

just something to think about. In the meantime, I just need to make my time here fun and meaningful..

lesson plan tonight? only for a little while.. be around the people I love? as much as possible.

i love you guys, I really do. don't forget it, or i'll punch you.

2006-01-12T21:03:00.000-08:00

no way!
its enough to make me cream in my panties (if I had some on me)

The New Pornographers are on tour with Belle and Sebastian at the Wiltern

march 18th and 19th.

i need to go to this show. two great bands, including one with neko case and A.C. Newman? i'm so
stoked.

i got jon brion solo and jon brion/nels cline tix at the Largo as well

also, I think I win the award for the most hyperlinks

peace

2006-01-12T08:55:00.000-08:00

Due to the whole back to school craze, my rant on a post fight club consumerist world really went to the back of the priority list.

maybe one of these days, I'll scribble it into my peronal pages.

anyways, the first week of school has gone decently well. 3 weeks is really a long time to be off and my body is taking a toll. Getting back to a normal sleep schedule is hard. I also remember how hard it is to have a normal life as a teacher. I get up at 5:30, out the door by 6:30.
I'm at school from 7 till about 4. THen its the gym from 4:30 to 5:30. Now, if I want to get to bed at a "decent" time of 11:30 I need to get 1)grading/planning 2)cook dinner/cleanup 3)pack lunch 4)basic maintenance stuff before I get to bed. If I even want to spend time with my girlfriend ,talk or see my roommates, , or just have some personal time doing human things like reading a book, listening to music, watching a movie, other things get sacrificed.

If I want to have a healthy balanced life, I can almost expect that some of my classroom responsibilities will go by the wayside. I hate that I have this horrible choice to make. Finding a balance is hard for me. One day of my weekend I know will be dedicated to a job that I only get paid for 30 hours of my work. Oh yeah, we get summer off, but I have to work a second job so I'm not eating tuna fish for the month of august.

i'm not complaining, just merely stating the facts. If you are a teacher, you've heard this before, and if you are a non-teacher friend of mine, you already know. I guess this is just my way of telling you that I'm finding it very hard to come back next year.
New job prospects will be searched and resumes will be sent. I'm fairly confident I can handle what these jobs throw at me after putting in 3 years at markham.

Is the grass greener? maybe.

2006-01-05T23:31:00.000-08:00

my unoriginal rant on consumerism in a post "fight club" world is coming...

1)i'm driving back to LA on friday, hopefully in time to catch David Garza play at Largo

2)its been a few days since I've worked out (Midnight miles on new years morning, then 5 miles later that day) but, its been pizza and beer ever since. so, time to get back to the gym

3)back to the grind of work. lesson planning is in my weekend agenda.

4) i've probably watched enough tv to last me till the end of the year. oh well, I rarely watch tv. except on vacations.

post-punk
post-hardcore
post-pot
post-sleep

2006-01-02T23:01:00.000-08:00

On new years eve eve, I bore witness to another fine shining example of live music that keeps my hopes up. At the Solar Temple of Music and Culture in Tucson, Arizona (insert hippy joke here) I saw what was called Calexico and friends. You may know calexico from their collaborations with indie troubador iron and wine.
if you don't know much about calexico, they are from tucson arizona, calexico being a town in california in the sonoran desert, a border town, whose mexican sister is mexicali. The word border is an important word when it comes to describes what calexico is and is trying to become. In mixing southwest cowboy music, rooted in a punk rock ethos, with mexican rythms and harmonies is the band calexico. lead singer joey burns said during the show "I wanted to write songs concering the border, the merging of many different cultures" if that was his goal, this concert was an amazingingly successful experiment. bringing his band, along with singer/songwriter nick luca, singer/songwriter/comedian salvador duran, and the amazing mariachi band Mariachi Luz de Luna he managed to showcase both the individual talents of each outfit, while incorporating these talented players into an equal collaborative effort.
one of the mariachi's said "it was great to be brought onto this stage as equals, with something powerful to say" it was truly a delight, to see the power of mariachi luz de luna performing their own songs, before playing with calexico.
it was like the clash and willie nelson, hanging out in a border mexican town with a mariachi band, getting drunk and playing music i don't know how to describe the sound, but alot of people liken calexico to an ennio morricone soundtrack (the good,the bad, and the ugly, etc..), a sound with a large palate, incorporating our ideas of the american west with distinct cultural elements, with a larger than life feel. for the gear head inside of me and you here's an inaccurate list of some of the equipment used gretsch drumkit, simple set up korg electric piano myriad of tasty electric (guild, national) and acoustic guitars upright bass, fender jazz bass xylaphone mariachi setup 3 violins/violas horn section mariachi specific guitar/guitar-like instruments (bass, midrange. high range) jesus, at one time there were 14 musicians on stage. one song featured spanish, french, and english lyrics. musicians were given time to shine. this concert was the closest to a Largo-esque vibe i've seen outside of, well , Largo of course. I almost halfway expected jon brion to show up, joining in on the fun.
I wish I had the beautiful writing skills of mark twain, or pablo neruda to describe how the music made me feel. but I dont. the music gave me hope that there are still avenues to explore. hope that we can come to understand our differences through song. there is hope that the american public can raise their collective standards and expect better from the labels, both indie and major. and hope that all my concert-going is not in vain, that it is leading me closer to my idea of what I must do in life.
thats all for now next up, my rant on consumerism in a post "fight club" world. thoughts from a scottsdale, az mall.

2005-12-22T08:39:00.000-08:00

So, I'm back in Kansas City. Its cold, but not unbearable as I previously feared.
This is the beginning of my second full day here and I'm a bit bored. Yesterday I sat on my ass, getting up only to go to they gym when my stepbrother dropped me off. Having no car really limits my mobility. No bother, I wanted time to just sit here and relax.

i got to see a friend last night, and I still have a few more to see. having christmas on a weekend means they are working all week, and having no car kind of hinders my ability to go out and see them.

I have a feeling this couch that I am currently posting from will be my base of operations for the next couple days.

plan for the day
go to the gym
play some pool
walk to the grocery store
get a hold of my cousins.

happy holidays!

2005-12-16T10:57:00.000-08:00

so, im gonna stop the 10 word rule for a bit to talk about the david garza show last night

david garza has consistently entertained and amazed me. every show seems to get better. Its pretty great that he opened for Fiona Apple on the last tour, giving him some much needed exposure.
anyway, I'm gonna try to describe the show to you, but just to let you know, as great the show was, there were other things that made the night truly memorable.

lets start with the players
David garza ( pianos, guitars, vocals)
Dave (fiona's tour piano player) (piano and keyboard horn thingy?)
earl and jay on two FULL drum sets
jen on bass
eric on pedal steel
another guy on guitar on the second set

the small stage was so crowded with players and their instruments. it was such an intimate vibe, like a living room practice session

he played alot of his new songs and added some standby favorites like disco ball world, too much, black and tan etc..

the cool part was that the show had this whole country western, dub feel to the music
for example they played the standard "smoke gets in your eyes" with this extended dub jam..the two drummers added such a cool vibe with one drummer supplying the beat while the other drummer added little dub-like flourishes like echoing drums.
the piano and pedal steel added so many layers to the music, i found myself getting caught in the melodies that those instruments contributed.
anyways, the 3 hour show was amazing, and despite the long day and late nght, I didn't get tired at all.

But this is the real funny part.
first off, jon heder (the guy who played napoleon d.) was there, we kept looking like "huh? is that him?" and sure enough it was. he's quite goofy looking in person.

but the person who takes the cake was this woman who looked and acted like she was on heroin. she sat right in front of us. she had the most god-awful stench, and she couldn't sit in her sit correctly, as she swayed crazily swinging her nasty dirty hair on to other patrons. she left multiple times taking her bag, to do whatever drug she had. at one time, she fell almost onto the stage.
she finally left, making me a bit sad that I wouldn't experience my one tie to 80's los angeles.

anyways, I came home, happy and satisfied that there is such good music out there to find

2005-12-16T01:32:00.000-08:00

its tiring watching two drummers collaborate on the same beat.

2005-12-14T09:57:00.000-08:00

lets have an experiment in word conservation.
i will try, every hour to post a thought, using no more than 10 words.
I will try to use as little time as possible (like passing time at school)
why? i'm bored.

here it goes

the door is knocking, I don't want to answer it.

2005-12-12T08:32:00.000-08:00

Hey, one of the greatest bands (www.decemberists.com ) just signed to Capitol Records.
www.pitchforkmedia.com

I'm not surprised nor sad. If it means a bigger budget to make better records, and more touring equipment (that hopefully won't get stolen), i'm all for it.

frontman Colin Meloy is coming to LA, pair that with a jeff tweedy solo show, and I'm in songwriter heaven.

the second jon brion/nels cline show was amazing. I'm a recovering gearhead, and it looked like they ransacked god's music shop and came out with some gorgeous instruments.

I even saw a 6 string hofner bass being played with a massive slide.
the second show was much more uptempo and successfully beat my fatigue.

after seeing some magical musical moments these last couple of years, my faith in music has been renewed. i'm even hoping for some pop renaissance.

i'd try to wax poetic on my ideas on pop music and its social cultural implications right now, but i'm just too tired.

exercise caution in your business, for the world is full of trickery

2005-12-02T17:16:00.000-08:00

Well, due to the comings and goings and basic craziness that is markham middle school, I still have yet to receive my Mohawk. I feel like a poser already, with kids asking me “Mr. G, when are you gonna get your Mohawk?” I can only say, “I dunno, soon”.

I guess companies that you don’t want to work for still get to reject you. After telling company X that I would only work for X amount money and benefits, I pretty much told them I wasn’t interested. One week later, I get an email saying “….great candidate, but we can’t find a match for you skillset…bla..bla..bla” I almost wanted to write her back, saying, “isn’t it unfortunate that your company is willing to not pay me what I deserve, knowing that I can pretty much kick ass at the job?”

But, their decision makes sense. Why hire someone with some experience, but a total lack of blind devotion to a company when you can hire a well educated, green, yes-man or woman?
I understand that they want that. Hell, I did Teach for America, it’s a corporate job in a non-profits skin. Of course, their mission is superb, but the environment, if you took away the contextual situation of our mission, it would be just like GM, or IBM.
You need smart kids who can think for themselves, but not too much. I still have a lot of respect for company X, and I’m a bit sad that I won’t work for them, but living in LA is hard enough on the measly teacher salary I make.

This was my first experience with the for-profit sector. I have a feeling it won’t be my last, but I’m happy to know that I won’t sell my self short. Well, at least not too short.

i am the sea

2005-11-15T23:08:00.000-08:00

Yes, yes , the day of reckoning has come. I have been informed that Friday, my hair, will be no longer. I am finally getting that Mohawk that I agreed to having. I’m a bit hesitant, being picky about who does it. Plus, thanksgiving day just couldn’t go that well with my mohawk. But, I did agree to it if the students bought enough books.

So, to celebrate, I shall have an ode to my hair part deux. There will be photos with commentary. Plus, sometime this weekend, after the initial shock, I will post pictures from the assembly.

By the way, this post is my first using Blog for Word. I can type and edit my blog from word, and with a few clicks, publish it in my blog. Awesome!

Oh yeah, Rach found this awesome rhino dvd set of live performances by the Who of tommy, and quadrophenia. In 1989! Crazy clothes, hair, and guest stars like Elton john and billy idol. What’s even more amazing is the feature of “visual commentary”. Instead of the typical voice over, they just superimpose roger and pete over the screen and they talk about the ensuing scene behind them. Quite fun. Especially since they mr. townshend and mr. daltrey are much older now.

2005-11-13T22:38:00.000-08:00

pretty awesome Japanese parade "doll"
@ mingei international museum
balboa park, san diego

rach and i took a trip to San Diego to get the fuck out of L.A. for a while

2005-11-13T22:33:00.000-08:00

@ Mingei International Museum

2005-11-01T18:51:00.000-08:00

I am at a professional crossroads right now. i'm a bit unhappy at work, and I started mild flirtatious job hunting today with monster dot com.

i'm trying not to whine, and the early dark days probably have alot to do with my current emotional state.

I just can't shake this feeling that my job is like a leaky bucket. Sure, I can keep pouring water into it, but that hole is still there.

I need to patch that hole.
How?
a good nights rest couldn't hurt.

in other news, I will be posting "an ode to my hair part deux" as I am slated to be on the receiving end of a mohawk. DO I really want to do this? not really. but, a promise is a promise to kids who bought $1,000 worth of books at the book fair.

I also participated in my first photo shoot ever. I tried to contain my excitement of having my picture taken (I secretly like it) to pose the freshest indie rock non-poses ever.

I am sure that the first "intently wistful-not-looking-at-camera-but-look-at-me-and-my-good-bone-structure-anyway" pose was probably caused by a large bird in a far-off tree. Now, skinny kids in pseudo vintage prada/helmut lang/guess???? all over the world practice this look.

i'm guilty of this many times.
I promise, I'll stop. well, unless rach and I get headshots.

2005-10-16T02:18:00.000-07:00

what a tasty breakfast!

2005-10-09T21:05:00.000-07:00

FEELING OLD MOMENT #7

Taking about 50 some odd school kids to the UCLA football game. I became quite annoyed at the amount of college kids banging on our bus in the parking lot. In any other time, I'd probably chuckle at the sight of grown kids trying to rile middle schoolers up.

BUT. they were MY middle schoolers.
As I run out the bus and run up right behind the Bruin fans (could have been Cal fans as well, it was dark), I yell at them to "quit being idiots, there are school kids in there!" I think I hear someone retort "fuck you".
I walk back in the bus.

I'm settling into my new pad, and Its a mini struggle to keep it clutter free. Things tend to pile up in here, but, I'm trying to keep ahead of the mess. It is nice to come home to a clean room. My dad would be happy that I finally realized this, even though it took me 24 years to do so.

I am going through the cliched time of life that I realize that my parents were very right (and very wrong) about many things.
--small moments matter
--plan plan plan
--always use two cups of water to one cup of rice for the perfect pot of rice (corey just learned that rice expands), but for even better rice use vegetable or chicken stock
--I don't need to buy -___ and_____ even though ________

The boondocks comes on tonight on adult swim. bitchin

oh yeah
so, a bunch of fellow faculty were at a new, fancy-ish mexican restaurant for happy hour on friday.
some businessman from NY found out that we were teachers and bought us our dinner, plus our drinks and dessert.
he basically just said that he "admires teachers" and wanted to show his appreciation. the gesture alone was amazing, let alone the fact that he paid for about 12 teachers.

Its nice to know that people are thinking about us.
I can' t rely on these gestures to make me happy teacher,but they don't hurt.

2005-09-29T18:58:00.000-07:00

jeez
it had to happen sometime I guess

our apartment got robbed.
only one roomies stuff got stolen.

i'm lucky it wasn't my stuff.

fucked up

to investigate this chicanery, i'll be assuming the role of encyclopedia brown for a few days.

2005-09-24T17:43:00.000-07:00

so..

some words I love hearing in songs

embarcadero (esp when joanna newsom sings it)
chunky
ankle (how many times has colin meloy said that?)
jesus (hmm.. neutral milk hotel)
apple
clouds
clampdown (the fuckin clash, oy!)
lateral
window
miserable (oh..morrisey)
words that kind of bother me when in a song

love (a bit overused)
revolution (see above)
sad (see mall punk, or otherwise shitty family tree member ( my chem romance, good charlotte etc))

i'd put some review of the decemberists/petra haden's sell out choir/sons and daughters show, but i'm just too lazy. maybe next time..

but.. here are the lyrics to "ingrid bergman" words by woodie guthrie, music by billy bragg and wilco

Ingrid bergman, ingrid bergman,Let’s go make a picture
On the island of stromboli, ingrid bergman Ingrid bergman, you’re so perty,You’d make any mountain quiver You’d make fire fly from the crater,Ingrid bergman
This old mountain it’s been waiting All it’s life for you to work it For your hand to touch it’s hardrock,Ingrid bergman, ingrid bergman
If you’ll walk across my camera,I will flash the world your story,I will pay you more than money, ingrid bergman
Not by pennies dimes nor quarters,But with happy sons and daughters,And they’ll sing around stromboli, Ingrid bergman

oh yeah, like maggie, i'm growing me old hair out.
either i'll cut it out of frustration
stay composed
or end up looking like a kid whose face is too wide for long hair

2005-09-20T20:51:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know i'm not old. not at all. not old by a longshot.

but, there are moments that make me feel old.

1) being around 11-13 year olds. they think i'm 40

2) having a sore back and sore feet, going into target to buy arch supports

3) saying the word "awesome"

4) finding grey facial hair. I mean, i've had grey hair since high school, but facial hair? My dad just started getting it last year. my dad laughed and said "blame your mom's side".. makes sense my grandpa and one of my uncles have straight up silver grey hair. its just a matter of time.

_ _ --__ -- ___ ----_ _ _ _ _ ---- __________ --_________-

i just realized that i've had this website since my sophomore year of college come next month, i'd have had this little thing for about 4 years.

my output has definately declined in the last two years. I really want to try and write more. if not in my blog, at least in a notebook.

its $1 scoop tuesdays at baskin robbins. i' m enjoying mint chocolate chip

2005-09-01T06:37:00.000-07:00

katrina is now officially possible to ignore. Jesus, I feel like shit admitting that I tried to ignore her, ignore every picture, every video, and every story. Now, like a huge slap to the face that I deserved, i'm exposed. Its so tough when you have two friends born and raised in NOLA who are dealing with this reality. It is hard when you know what the smell of still water and feces is like. It is hard when you have seen the same flooding in your own neighborhood (not to this horrible of an extent, but look up great flood of 94), and feeling bad for not knowing how to help now. I was a 13 year old child then and now I feel like a 24 year old child, still waiting for someone to tell me what to do.
The media seems to be making a few mistakes. Coming from the midwest, I was close enough to people of southern culture to ignore the stereotypes. I swear some people from other parts of this country are just told that the south is a worthless void, with its ignorant stupid people. I'm not going to go and justify my opinions because I don't have to, but, I know you faithful readers know better.

The mainstream media and their reports are so biased. Believe me, its not all true, its just as bad as other parts of this country. Biased opinions coming on all fronts of socioeconomic, educational, and racial subjects are shown the the world daily.

Take this for example
Black people loot, white people find.
click on the pictures and look for the captions, by the AP no less.

i'm no journalist, but I have friends who are and totally respect their jobs. But its unfortunate that not all journalists are being responsible. Is it a copy error? A sheer mistake? Lets hope so, but we already know the impact that skewered information can have.

I know i've already linked to this above, but my friend Murph, living in LA but born and raised in NOLA has been keeping an extensive blog on all things katrina. It is usually a website filled with amazing music, cinema and social commentary, these things are still there. But for now its devoted to the hometown he loves. I'd suggest you read this and click on his links for a more accurate media portrayal of the disaster in NOLA.

in the meantime, i'm gonna thank my power animal, or maybe the flying spahgetti monster, maybe even god that I'm healthy and safe. Its still sad that it takes disasters to bring people together, but if thats what it takes, well thats it.

2005-08-23T20:37:00.000-07:00

Life has been fun in the new apartment. I'm close to work, close to the gym, close to my family.
While I loved my experience in west hollywood (amy represent!), I also enjoy the space and the energy that comes with a larger apartment and more roommates.
While I feel like I've bonded with 3 of my roommates. (we've eaten together, gone to soundwalk, had brunch, watched tv together. its gonna be fun, even when we are all working)
There are two other room mates (yes, I have 5 fucking roommates!) that I have not really bonded with yet. This may be attributed to the fact that those two have been out of town, thus rendering it impossible for me to bond with them yet. and i'm sure we will get along tremendously. sigh, Sadly, and this is really vain and pathetic, I have a feeling that I won't become "like, bestest best friends! yea!!" based on what I have seen on their IPOD.

fuck. thats horrible. what kind of vain, judgmental person am I? Does it really matter? i'm not going to answer that

i'm sure that beneath their ______ taste in music, there is some great personality. In fact, i'm sure I'll get along quite well with them. but, sometimes, I gotta cringe.

this is horrible. my music taste is just that. taste. my biased opinion. fuck. i'm horrible.

i'm gonna go lesson plan for the kiddos. don't even get me started on what they listen to.

2005-08-17T08:30:00.000-07:00

so, I really hate Hummers. H2's etc. can you imagine the delight I had when I found the website FUCK H2's

its basically a huge cache of people giving the middle finger to hummers. classic. I've seen two in the last two days, taking up huge spots in the parking lot. yesterday, after seeing a movie, this bastard in a yellow h2 (happened to be wearing a matching fleece jacket) parked near me. I'm so glad I had my camera phone on me. so, go, check out the aforementioned website. bring your camera with you. if you see a hummer, give it the finger and add to the collection. your grandma will thank you.

2005-08-14T22:16:00.000-07:00

my new room is a mess. well, half a mess. while one half is the picture of organization and thoughtful planning, the other half of the room looks like the aftermath of hurricane "whatever-the-name-of-the-moment".

This setting is basically a physical manifestation/representation of my mind.
yes, i've been on vacation for the whole month of july, but driving for 2/3 of the month does not exactly translate into relaxation time.
as soon as I got back to LA, it was time to pack up and move my apartment. go figure. then no more than a week passes, and I'm back in KC for another wedding.
finances are a bit tight, and I've gotta make some money. tomorrow I walk into the labor ready office, ready to use my constantly dwindling physical abilites to make a few bucks. It may be real nice to sweat a bit and work with people who aren't in the education field. Unless they are teachers who poorly manage their finances. I'm hopeful.

i sit here drinking a beer, trying to relax. for at least a few moments. I still have tons of shit in storage that I need to move out by the end of the month. Buy back days start the 30th. I need some time to make money, relax, and plan for next year. I don't think i'm the only one in this boat.

If you want to read my "what I did for summer vacation" essay, wait a bit longer. That will come up soon, even more pictures. perhaps even video!

2005-07-30T13:08:00.000-07:00

hard to drive and take pics at the same time.

2005-07-30T13:07:00.000-07:00

rach and eddy

2005-07-30T13:06:00.000-07:00

yee haw... Utah!

2005-07-18T10:23:00.000-07:00

hah

2005-07-18T10:21:00.000-07:00

the groom, matt and marilyn, his mom mother-son dance

2005-07-18T09:13:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it. My little sister is married. she's passed me and has now become more of an adult than I am. I'm so happy and so sad at the same time. I know her and Matt will be amazing for eachother and I know they will do everything they can to make eachother happy.
Still, I 'm a bit sad knowing that big brother simply won't be the big guy in her life. She has taught me more about love, family, and relationships the whole time she's been alive and I am eternally thankful. We've had our moments both good and bad. There are many more good times to come. I'll still remember the times when she was there for me. I can only hope to be there for her.

Here's to my sister, the first love of my life.

2005-07-18T09:12:00.000-07:00

the bride getting her groove on

2005-07-18T09:11:00.000-07:00

ed and brandon

2005-07-18T09:10:00.000-07:00

dad, erin, cherrie pre-wedding

2005-07-18T09:08:00.000-07:00

rach and i

2005-07-10T22:52:00.000-07:00

jason h. tulsa, oklahoma

2005-07-10T22:51:00.001-07:00

your faithful navigator

2005-07-10T22:51:00.000-07:00

jason h. big ass tree. grand canyon

2005-07-10T22:50:00.000-07:00

desert view, Grand Canyon

2005-07-10T22:49:00.000-07:00

map, notebook, cigs. road trip supplies

2005-07-07T07:51:00.000-07:00

pre trip-trip to watts towers.

2005-07-05T23:55:00.000-07:00

Arizona at high a high speed. the landscape never fails to blow me away every time I go through this beautiful state. my sketchbook is getting broken in at this point.

2005-07-05T23:50:00.000-07:00

average trip speed. the cruise control was definately needed. today (tuesday) was the first day I let someone else drive. it was nice to sit and relax for a change.

2005-07-05T23:49:00.000-07:00

on the way back from san francisco. note the meditative looking mark. the wind was blowing really hard and steady, and the brown stalks were in constant motion. it was pretty surreal.

2005-06-30T12:34:00.000-07:00

ROAD TRIP!!!!

10 or so days of fun in the great southwest. LA to Missouri.

SF, VEGAS, AZ,NM, TX, OK, KS, MO

camping, drawing, reading, taking videos, taking photos, strange sights and smells

all with my friend jason.
sadly, the drive back home will be sans company. back by myself :( anybody want to drive from KC to LA with me? i'll prob leave on the 18th.

i'll try to update pics and such along the way, as long as I have internet access.

so, If no one hears from me for a few days, it'll be ok...but, if its the 10th of july and I'm not answering my phone, please, be worried.

more later

2005-06-19T22:41:00.000-07:00

don't you hate it when you feel like you have something to say, and when you get the chance to say it, nothing comes out?

that just happened.
1
2
3
4
5

no...waiting a few minutes didn't help either.

6
7
8

I could make a list though

TFA graduation
RICA test
spanish wine
cleaning up the pad for potential residents
portobello ravioli
party at mysha's
spending time with *ARE K* makes me happy
hanging out with uncle steve and aunt tess, gramma, uncle ron, my cousins ana, rachel, and aaron
mmm..cheese burgers.
shaky car
24 hour fitness
nba basketball

ahh...thats better

i need to find some sort of job this summer, if only for a month to make some extra cash for the lean month. i'd also like to get a head start on paying some bills. i should look at some temp agencies for ideas.

the more time I spend with ARE K, (who I previously gave the nickname LZ, who will still not be named without her permission although most of you already know who she is) the more I like her. she is an amazing woman. nuff said.

"just want my hand on your hips, gonna kiss them good for nothing lips/ a couple or few more/one or two more/hundred times/got nothing but night"
black and tan-- david garza

2005-06-15T06:14:00.000-07:00

hey ya'll who may happen to read this

how does the website loook? i'm not really thinkng aesthetic or whaver, but technical... whenever I see my blog on my PC, the info column is always situated on the top right where I like it to be.. but, whenever I use my MAC , you can see all of the posts and then the information column to the right. what am I doing wrong? can anyone with html skills help me out?

training for the next 3 days! woo hoo

2005-06-14T12:55:00.000-07:00

i'm thinking of reformatting my blog, just like candace.. but i'm not too happy with the choices..the good ones are already taken.

but, I figure I need a dark background and lighter color type in order to give my piss poor postings a feeling of depth, emotion, and introspection.

ha ha ha

peace

2005-06-13T13:27:00.001-07:00

tension. thick, humid, and heavy. I personally get a tingly feeling in the back of my shoulders, and my heart rate rises. my breathing takes on this strange staggered rhythm while I suddenly get uncomfortable in the position I happen to be sitting/laying/standing in.

I feel it before an apology, before an important event, during a tense game, or after an argument.
or, in some wonderful cases, before you muster the courage to somehow physically express how you feel to someone that you like.

"I really want to continue seeing you again" as he fiddles with his ipod,it was playing an uncomfortably slow song.the night is getting long, the date had gone well so far, but there was a bit of silence, each person staring at the empty PCH
he's not sure what he is feeling, he's not sure why, but he just feels good, like something is going well.
____________________________________________________________________

the first hug was a bit akward, back when he picked her up at her place. he was late, the 405 was backed up and street signs in the city are too small for his bespectacled eyes. he gazed at her bookshelf, noting that she has cool books, then noting how pathetic he was for somehow judging her based on her bookshelf, as if he even reads good books anymore.

driving to long beach was fun, even though neither of them knew exactly where they were. they parked in a spot they would later forget. crepes were on the menu for dinner, and as the food slowly disappeared from the plates, so did the akward nature of the beginning of a second date.

it was dark, and a bit chilly as they walked barefoot on the beach. she joked about stepping on a syringe, he smiled as he switched his shoes from his right hand to his left, just in case he might hold her hand. he smiled when he noticed her do the same thing.
they walked back and forth, stopped to put his shoes back on. he had not at that point, held her hand. the conversation was good, the two were starting to get to know about eachother. he took advantage of this chance to start fresh, totally honest. he felt kind of bad as he looked at his beat up button up shirt, she looked great in maroon, and he told her throwing all caution about cliched sayings to the wind.

mini-adventures were made, they passed a "bear" bar as he humorously explained what he thought a "bear" was in the LGBT community, he thinks he is right.
another adventure was had as they explored the rows and rows of one way streets jumping at the sound of a large dog barking.

they get lost. kind of on purpose. pch, 405, 710, artesia the south bay is a mystery to both of them. they stumble upon a multiplex, and briefly consider a movie then decide that an 11pm showing of mr and ms smith was not what they had in mind.
they find a starbucks, as she goes to the bathroom, he finds a table outside, and sets her drink across the round table from him. at the last minute, he moves her drink to a position next to him, a bit sheepish since she just happened to appear. regardless, she sat next to him and for the next hour they laughed about friends, LA, dating, and the strange circumstances that brought the two together. the coffee ended well before the conversation, but, it was time to get back on the road.

finding their bearings he begins to realize that he doesn't want the night to end yet, and he secretly thinks that she feels the same way.
____________________________________________________________________

He: so do we take road 1 or road 2?
She: well, road 1 is a direct shot to my house, or we can go the long way
He: let's go the long way

he smiles, he doesn't care what they do, as long as they do it together.

finally, he breaks the tension and sits his hand next to hers. he holds his breath, nervous at what might happen. first, the pinky finger slides over hers, then slowly the other fingers move, locking into one another. he stares ahead, takes a deep breath.
who knows where the long road will take him.

2005-06-09T15:58:00.000-07:00

what the fuck is going on with my hair?

my hair has been a constant source of anxiety since I can remember having hair. I remember the time I used kiddo scissors to cut the front part of my bowl cut in 4th grade (the barber gave me a sad shake of his head and told me to leave it to the professional) staring at the large clumb of hair now sitting on the brown "kids room" carpet of my living room.
lets see, i've had the asian bowl, the late 80's early 90's mullet like 'do, the pointdexter side part, the strange spiky thing in 8th grade, a shaved head, a mohawk, the "roman" cut that george clooney made popular in highschool, the flip-up-the front hair cut, that 70's show hair cut (i got called Fez so many times, it is not even funny), back to the asian buzz cut, side swept bang-ish look, and now to this strange fuck up that I call my current hair style. its too bushy, my bangs on the front are asymmetrical and sweep across my forehead like a bad hat, and the back of my head is a messy cathedral of hair. I think it gets by just because it looks so "indie" and its so bad that it probably looks good to a segment of people.

i'll be the first to admit that I think hair was my way of hiding my skin color, or my crooked nose, or the scar on my lip. I let my hair become me to the point that many people remember me by my hair. I think that I had longish hair at TFA institute, and by the time the school year began, I sported a regular guy haircut and many people did not recognize me at first.

i may not have had the best no fear t-shirts, or even didn't have the cool locker, but I always made sure that my hair was fixed nice. I remember being late for school because my temporary tragedy induced OCD which forced me to iron every piece of clothing (yes underwear and socks), also forced me to make sure that every hair was in place, sometimes prompting me to wash all the shit out of my hair and do it again.

jesus, that is fucked up.
nowadays, i shower not frequently, and my hair is a mess.and guess what, i'm loving it. still, I check my hair out frequently and have bought a hat to hide my hair on bad days.

consider this my funny little secret

2005-06-09T11:00:00.000-07:00

My date with.. lets call her "LZ" went awesome. i'm pretty excited about the possibilities. we went to see thai elvis at palms with marky mark and beauty junkie, and they just chilled at my place for a while, just talking, getting to know eachother.

its really cool getting to know someone who you really don't know anything about, and then finding that there are many things we have in common. she's smart, funny, and beautiful. and I really enjoyed hanging out with her. I believe she shares the same sentiment with me, but, you never know.

i'm really concerned with doing this the right way, so, i don't want to get too worried or otherwise sabotage a good thing. Who knows what may happen, but I am hopeful that things will work out.

that may be why I'm not trying to get too excited about anything, knowing my history and such, but i'm happy to say that I'm happy, regardless of whatever happens.

I want to go back to my old ideals, being passionate, being romantic, but really, from the get go, trying have a balance. I want to live my life in LA, surrounded by friends, family, and loved ones.

i think i'm getting closer to that every day, especially with great people like Amy, mark,candace,stephanies, pozen, nate, kouching, the mileys, the crofts in my life. It would be cool to add LZ to that list of amazing people who really make my life great.

2005-06-08T08:16:00.000-07:00

regarding the empty post below, I had a great post, cut it out to edit it, and blogger doesn't allow me to paste things back in!. so, basically i'm just too lazy to re-type it yet.

2005-06-06T14:35:00.000-07:00

2005-06-06T08:11:00.000-07:00

I now have an RSS feed.

whatever that means. Maggie, there you go!

2005-06-04T08:40:00.000-07:00

i know its today so I guess you could say one recovers, it's odd you should call me but then after all we were lovers, i don't wait by the phone like I used to, I don't hope for the kind words you might say, you don't prey on my mind like you used to, but you could still ruin my day. --- jon brion

holy freakin shit. no matter how many times I've seen jon brion, he never, ever ever ever ceases to amaze me.

i'll be the first to admit my heterosexual man crush on jon brion. the guy is just the epitome of "unpopular pop music", he is an encyclopedia of all things good in music. musician, writer, producer..this guy does it all. who else can go through the decades starting with the 20's and re-interpret any song to fit with that decade. for example, singing "purple rain" as if some 1950's garage rocker was singing, or how about using "smoke on the water" music and singing nirvana along with it?

fuck. this guy makes me just want to give up playing music because he's so tremendously talented. at the same time, he's the reason i'm still trying to make a song.

its not just his re-interpretation of other peoples songs that is amazing, its his own grasp of the pop song structure. little 4 minute gems of fleshed out rock n roll.

i got tired, i don't wanna make the same mistakes, the same mistakes on you, but I withheld the truth, I don't wanna make the same mistakes, the same mistakes as you

did I tell you he was special ed? maybe he couldn't pay attention in class, or maybe he couldn't do math for shit, but the guy can play almost any instrument, memorizes so many songs, can improvise, and has a great sense of humor.

I was glad to see brion last night with amy and james last night, drinking my coffee and my black and tans, couldn't ask for a better day. well, if I would have asked for this woman's phone number at the conference, but, you can't have everything right?

so, if you live in LA, or are coming up, you need to go see jon brion. go to www.largo-la.com try to find his cd "meaningless" or check out these albums that jon produced, guest starred in, or whatever..i'm only gonna give you a short list

magnolia sound track - produced and wrote many of the songs that Aimee mann performed
i heart huckabees - wrote the score
punch drunk love- wrote the score
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind- score, again.
macy gray's first album- produced
i belive every fiona apple album, including the unreleased one
rufus wainwright-produced a few tracks on many of his albums.

and, the hottest rumor up to date: he's been hired by kanye west to help produce his next album!!

anyways, I'm gonna get up and be productive.. maybe some pictures from the last few days soon.

2005-05-27T11:24:00.000-07:00

paper hat.

2005-05-27T11:22:00.000-07:00

Jeremy and Uncle Ramon..and yes, thats ana in the background

2005-05-27T11:20:00.001-07:00

Adrian, Uncle Rene, Auntie Baby

2005-05-27T11:20:00.000-07:00

Greg and Carlos, yo. goin strong for so long. admirable.

2005-05-27T11:19:00.000-07:00

Aunt Sing and Lakewood City Councilman/Uncle Steve

2005-05-27T11:18:00.000-07:00

from back to front. adrian. erin. ana

2005-05-27T11:16:00.000-07:00

i sure love my family! my step mom theresa, my sister erin, Jim-mi padre

2005-05-27T10:52:00.000-07:00

meeting someone new is always fun. Since i haven't really been meeting anyone new lately, this is a good thing. lets call her... Girl A. Now, girl A is really cool. Its been a while (since I met Maggie) that i've met a girl who can make me laugh my ass off. she's dry and deadpan, and I absolutely am thrilled with knowing her. she has great taste in music, and has a perspective on things, that, while they do not totally match my own perspectives, there is a good fit going on.

what will happen do you ask? who knows? i'm happy to just be turning a new page. nuff said about that. we're hanging out tonight, and anything may happen.

i'm taking care of kari's doggies this weekend while she's out slumming it in a beautiful santa barbara campground. honestly, I don't see her out in the woods, but, she is from Indiana, so she can handle it.

I think I do this just to interact with her two dogs. I miss my own dog Shaq dearly and being able to play with these two makes me happy.

----insert profound statement on life/politics/god here--------------------------------

anyways, I need to get more shampoo and, I think Amy wouldn't mind if I start getting my own toothpaste for once.

next week, my great friend James comes into town wed through monday. so far on the agenda: 1)dresden to see marty and elaine perform 2) dodgers vs brewers 3) jon brion at Largo
4) chinatown and little tokyo. 5) venice beach and santa monica 6) peterson automotive museum 7) McCabes guitar shop 8) hang out in long beach with girl A 9) griffith park 10) finally, sitting on our asses.

i'm still looking for fun and interesting things to do..cheap!

bye

2005-05-25T13:28:00.000-07:00

even though you can't see

this is the third attempt to write something down that doesn't feel

1. contrived

2. false

3. lazy

i'll end it now

2005-05-18T13:01:00.000-07:00

my blue corduroy jacket sits in a heap on a desk in my classroom. too cold in the morning without it,super hot in the afternoon.

barring any fucked up situations ( I can think of a few) I decided to stay at Markham! wow, you say, yeah..me too

but, im gonna be quiet about it until all is confirmed. but, i think have just extended my los angeles adventure by a year.

more details to follow.

the road trip is confirmed. july 3rd-10th give or take a couple of days. LA to KC..and all points in between.

word.