walking through walls
Monday, September 29, 2003
sheeit..
where do I start?
I've been teaching for about a full month now at good ol Markham Middle School in watts.
jesus, its been hard. never realized how draining it can be to get a group of kids to just calm down and listen to you for 5 minutes. I guess I'm paying for all the shit I pulled on teachers when I was in middle school, which to say honestly, wasn't much, except for religion class (sorry ms. templeton).
its quite a funny thing, teaching, you have to pull yourself away from the curriculum in some way, trying to go at it in many directions to hopefully find the best way to present to kids who may or may not want to know, have problems learning, or have much more important life matters to worry about that dividing and multiplying fractions.
I teach special education, which for not special ed teachers, I would say that I teach kids who are just as smart as others, yet learn in different ways. most of my kids benefit from tactile or kinesthetic lessons that require alot of hands on learning.
are there gaps in their learning? of course, to me many of my students in special ed or SPED as I will now call it, probably had more behavior problems that could have stemmed from a learning disability, that were the cause of the teachers grief, thereby sending the student into SPED.
with that situation, I have many students who do not act in a way that is conducive to a good working classroom. mainstream "norms" that may be expected in a different class, such as raising hands, or being quiet when the teacher says so are not always in place or apparent in my classroom. of course, part of this lack is very much likely based on my poor, amateur classroom management strategy. although yelling is probably not the preferred way to get Darius to sit down, thats what I end up resorting to. these kids give me so many headaches, and so many gray hairs, I want to strangle some of em sometimes.
but the rest of the time, I love the kids. they amuse me, make me laugh, intrigue me, motivate me. I can run the gamut of emotions from pure connfusion, to sadness, to madness, to joy and elation all in the course of a day. how's that for a job? I can honestly say that this job will never be predictable. good or bad? you decide.
I teach 6 grade history, earth science, and math. I also teach 7th grade life science and pre algebra. having hated math for most of my elementary, middle,and secondary schooling, its a funny irony that I am teaching math, in middle school, probably one of the worst times of my adolescence. I strive to be the teacher who I never had, and I fear that i may never become that good teacher. I'm afraid that there is someone that can better help these kids, that I am doing more good than harm. I struggle with this everyday. I also know that I am working my ass off to get the kids where they need to be, sometimes it may not be planned most effectively, but I can honestly say that I care very much about my students, even though they drive me crazy sometimes.
case in point, in a lesson on plate tectonics, I use an orange and its peel to demonstrate how the earth's crust is broken up into plates that at one point in time all fit together. fun right? well, it was, but the students were more interested in eating the orange than in plate tectonics, time to reconsider that lesson for next year. with such a hyperkinetic class, its very hard to keep their attention on me for even a short time. Everyday is a new day, a time to go out with the old and in with the new until I find that combination that works for me.
I am so excited, exhausted, and energized to be a teacher at my school.
the racial dynamics here are almost like polar opposites of kansas city. My school has about 60% to 40% Latino and African Americans. Very few kids of any other ethnicity ( I've seen 2 cambodian kids, and 2 white kids). It also frustrates me that I do not speak Spanish, something I vow to learn someday.
so many funny dynamics at this school, there is a divide between the skaters, the rockers, the hip hoppers, and the rancheros at this school. It is amazing to just people watch as you see swarms of children,very devoted to their music and style. from nirvana patches, to timberland boots, music lifestyle culture is very visible.
what strikes me and somewhat disgusts me is the obsession with consumerism at this school. I guess it comes with the territory of being young and in public school. almost everyhing is a status symbol , all things for show. something I need to think more about.
I guess i've been labeled as the "rocker" teacher. haha! they don't believe me when I tell them I also listen to hip hop , jazz, country and other music etc..
at this age, you are one and not the other... very interesting.
I feel so cut off from the world sometimes. In the morning, all I can tolerate reading is the sports page. I often come home too tired to watch or read the news, which sucks because I usually enjoy the news.
I know as a first year teacher, i'm gonna make a ton of mistakes. But I don't want that to become an excuse to do poorly. I need to constantly reassess what and how I am doing things as a teacher in order to become the best teacher I can be.
I feel like a fuckhead because I've been very negligent in contacting family and friends.
for all those of you who are one of those types of people, I give an apology, i'll try more th is time, I promise.
all of you who are enjoying the new found freedom of post college life, congrats, for those stil in school, hang in there. and for those working for "the man" good luck, work hard..
take care all, I'll try to update more often friends!
alex
mr.g ¶ 9/29/2003 07:12:00 PM 0 comments
where do I start?
I've been teaching for about a full month now at good ol Markham Middle School in watts.
jesus, its been hard. never realized how draining it can be to get a group of kids to just calm down and listen to you for 5 minutes. I guess I'm paying for all the shit I pulled on teachers when I was in middle school, which to say honestly, wasn't much, except for religion class (sorry ms. templeton).
its quite a funny thing, teaching, you have to pull yourself away from the curriculum in some way, trying to go at it in many directions to hopefully find the best way to present to kids who may or may not want to know, have problems learning, or have much more important life matters to worry about that dividing and multiplying fractions.
I teach special education, which for not special ed teachers, I would say that I teach kids who are just as smart as others, yet learn in different ways. most of my kids benefit from tactile or kinesthetic lessons that require alot of hands on learning.
are there gaps in their learning? of course, to me many of my students in special ed or SPED as I will now call it, probably had more behavior problems that could have stemmed from a learning disability, that were the cause of the teachers grief, thereby sending the student into SPED.
with that situation, I have many students who do not act in a way that is conducive to a good working classroom. mainstream "norms" that may be expected in a different class, such as raising hands, or being quiet when the teacher says so are not always in place or apparent in my classroom. of course, part of this lack is very much likely based on my poor, amateur classroom management strategy. although yelling is probably not the preferred way to get Darius to sit down, thats what I end up resorting to. these kids give me so many headaches, and so many gray hairs, I want to strangle some of em sometimes.
but the rest of the time, I love the kids. they amuse me, make me laugh, intrigue me, motivate me. I can run the gamut of emotions from pure connfusion, to sadness, to madness, to joy and elation all in the course of a day. how's that for a job? I can honestly say that this job will never be predictable. good or bad? you decide.
I teach 6 grade history, earth science, and math. I also teach 7th grade life science and pre algebra. having hated math for most of my elementary, middle,and secondary schooling, its a funny irony that I am teaching math, in middle school, probably one of the worst times of my adolescence. I strive to be the teacher who I never had, and I fear that i may never become that good teacher. I'm afraid that there is someone that can better help these kids, that I am doing more good than harm. I struggle with this everyday. I also know that I am working my ass off to get the kids where they need to be, sometimes it may not be planned most effectively, but I can honestly say that I care very much about my students, even though they drive me crazy sometimes.
case in point, in a lesson on plate tectonics, I use an orange and its peel to demonstrate how the earth's crust is broken up into plates that at one point in time all fit together. fun right? well, it was, but the students were more interested in eating the orange than in plate tectonics, time to reconsider that lesson for next year. with such a hyperkinetic class, its very hard to keep their attention on me for even a short time. Everyday is a new day, a time to go out with the old and in with the new until I find that combination that works for me.
I am so excited, exhausted, and energized to be a teacher at my school.
the racial dynamics here are almost like polar opposites of kansas city. My school has about 60% to 40% Latino and African Americans. Very few kids of any other ethnicity ( I've seen 2 cambodian kids, and 2 white kids). It also frustrates me that I do not speak Spanish, something I vow to learn someday.
so many funny dynamics at this school, there is a divide between the skaters, the rockers, the hip hoppers, and the rancheros at this school. It is amazing to just people watch as you see swarms of children,very devoted to their music and style. from nirvana patches, to timberland boots, music lifestyle culture is very visible.
what strikes me and somewhat disgusts me is the obsession with consumerism at this school. I guess it comes with the territory of being young and in public school. almost everyhing is a status symbol , all things for show. something I need to think more about.
I guess i've been labeled as the "rocker" teacher. haha! they don't believe me when I tell them I also listen to hip hop , jazz, country and other music etc..
at this age, you are one and not the other... very interesting.
I feel so cut off from the world sometimes. In the morning, all I can tolerate reading is the sports page. I often come home too tired to watch or read the news, which sucks because I usually enjoy the news.
I know as a first year teacher, i'm gonna make a ton of mistakes. But I don't want that to become an excuse to do poorly. I need to constantly reassess what and how I am doing things as a teacher in order to become the best teacher I can be.
I feel like a fuckhead because I've been very negligent in contacting family and friends.
for all those of you who are one of those types of people, I give an apology, i'll try more th is time, I promise.
all of you who are enjoying the new found freedom of post college life, congrats, for those stil in school, hang in there. and for those working for "the man" good luck, work hard..
take care all, I'll try to update more often friends!
alex
mr.g ¶ 9/29/2003 07:12:00 PM 0 comments
Monday, September 01, 2003
yikes...in about 9 hours, I will have begun my first day of teaching at Markham Middle School.
I'm not as nervous as I was this summer. That fact could be a good or bad thing, or may have no effect at all.
Let's just hope I get some sleep and I do well tomorow. Tomorrow will be relatively light in terms of curriculum, just some personal introductions, rules & procedures, and some ice breaking.
I'm gonna also start journaling in a paper format as well, but rest assured my faithful readers (Wherever you may be), I will try to continue and post on here as well. I'll try to get my first day up here ASAP.
anyway, time to go to bed....
wish me luck this week
peace ¶ 9/01/2003 11:06:00 PM 0 comments
I'm not as nervous as I was this summer. That fact could be a good or bad thing, or may have no effect at all.
Let's just hope I get some sleep and I do well tomorow. Tomorrow will be relatively light in terms of curriculum, just some personal introductions, rules & procedures, and some ice breaking.
I'm gonna also start journaling in a paper format as well, but rest assured my faithful readers (Wherever you may be), I will try to continue and post on here as well. I'll try to get my first day up here ASAP.
anyway, time to go to bed....
wish me luck this week
peace ¶ 9/01/2003 11:06:00 PM 0 comments
